fucking coup d' etat. now i can't pass my fucking project today, for fucking plus points. damn it.

yes. unfortunately, i still live. i am sick with flu and i'm so failing a sertain subjest i hate in the first place, so i guess it's okay. oh well. random rant: OMG, i SO have a crush on the guy in PINK. omg, pink is love. even though i was sick, i still gave the opening remarks for my dad's association's get together thing. and they had this dance company perform some ethnic numbers and stuff. and my god, i am so crushing on the guy in pink., yes, pink. haha. from the start, i was seated on table 21, where the male dancers and miss judy was seated anyway. and after the whole dance, the guy in PINK was at the table about to get something to eat, and he was asking if the chopsticks were used. i shool my head no, smiled at him, and he [omg!] smiled back! to bad we had to leave early, or i definately would have asked for his name. hopefully they get the company again sometime, and hopefully [oh gods, please, please] let him still be there when the time comes. and would have to get his name. right now, he would be known to me and to those in my universe as "the guy in PINK" yeah. and the good part is, according to the article i saw, the dancers are around 17-20. yei. haha. and yeah! i love love mode again! i finally unearthed my manga, and got text translations, and i am so in love with shiki. i really, really cried when he passed away. D: so sad. unfortunately, haven't been able to dl the latest naruto chapter. tsk tsk.

man. like, no one's blogging anymore. *sigh* exams are coming up, and so's another sleepless week. i'm still not sure if i'm going to the meeting tomorrow, but i am required to attend, to i have to let my presence be felt. oh yeah.

all the tablets and capsules and tests. it's really horrible. i think about my brother [from whom this virus most probably originated] and i feel much worse. i can't even tell how bad it's going to be, if i'm out of school for a week. [imagine, not seeing my school! and classmates! and it's my last year! i'm sure going to miss st theresa's college...] plus, i have to undergo all this sh*tty stuff..... i'm running out of tissue due my never ending mucus secretion. i'm all dizzy every time i have to go to the bathroom, and i have to go very often because i have to drink more water. [i'm a bit dehydrated anyway] and my throats all scratchy-itchy-tickly. and i can't sing!!! i know my singing causes disasters and all, but when i sing mi title, my throat's so dry!!! and i cough. my coughing causes some pain in my abdomen. all the muscles in that area hurt when they contract... i feel really, really horrible. nasty virus. and i can't really go near chiaki that much. he might catch whatever i have, or i might give him my cold... poor little thing....

sometimes, i just want to throw myself out the window. i can't really describe the painful, depressing feeling at the pit of my stomach. then, i remember an old uncle-friend of mine, who had bone cancer. i heard tales of him screaming whenever they had to inject stuff into his marrow. and they also told me that he would sob and fight back and tell the nurses to just let him die. i remember that, and i cry. i don't know, but what i expecience pales in comparison. yet, i think i feel for the pain he's feeling. and i also have a cousin who has some sort of cancer. they said that he wouldn't last. only a few weeks left. they bought him a new car, they don't mind spending thousands a day on medicine and herbs that would make him feel better. it's really funny, how people don't mind spending on others whom they're sure they'd lose. i bet that if he wasn't sick, they wouldn't get him the car. sometimes i wish i was sick so that other people would pay more attention to me. and i feel sorry for him. i feel sorry for them. i feel sorry for myself.

wahahaha!!! 'appy burdei jolenz!!!

and yesterday was hiroki-sama's birthday, so i have orange range lyrics as a tribute! :D

Orange Range Lyrics